...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
