Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
