im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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