I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
