Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
