that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
false alarm. still invincible.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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