meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
