you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
