i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
