My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
