if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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