This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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