am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
