i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
