Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
