Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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