So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
