Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
