I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
