yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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