O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Let's get the cat blown out
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
