she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
