hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
