my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need a beard to bite.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize