My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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