Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
