so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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