what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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