yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
