In the future we'll all be gay
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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