just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
