come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
