Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
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Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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