Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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