What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
