Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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