pedialite and red bull = repair kit
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize