just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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