please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize