Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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