he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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