There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
