You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
