I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
