Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
