I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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