Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
