that's an acceptable place to lick
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
