So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize