ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
