People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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