shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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