what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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