Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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