Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
