It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wear drunk well.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
