just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
