I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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