new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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