i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
