drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
