I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
