she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize