my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
