What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
