I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
