There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
