i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
