barbara walters just said penis...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
