i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
